Stuff that is (and isn’t) important…

hawaiiAbove:  The stuff I treasure most about my childhood was the memories we made together.  Here’s a pic Dad, Mom, Soo and (16 year old me) in Hawaii.  I’ve forgotten a lot of stuff that happened during my teenage years – but I’ve never forgotten that trip…

Stuff that is important:

  1. My family.
  2. My marriage.
  3. Spending time with the people I love the most.
  4. Feeling fulfilled, rewarded and happy in the work that I do.
  5. Being healthy.
  6. Food / shelter (the basics).
  7. Beautiful experiences with my loved ones.
  8. Making memories with my children.
  9. Facilitating and encouraging our children’s growth and development.
  10. Being generous with our lives.
  11. Respecting the planet… and the life that it nurtures.
  12. Respecting LIFE – and not deliberately going out to hurt or harm others.
  13. Deep and meaningful relationships.
  14. Being the change we wish to see.
  15. Learning, evolving, growing…
  16. Being happy – and making others happy too.
  17. Love.

Stuff that isn’t important:

  1. Trying to keep everyone else happy and un-offended (at the expense of our happiness).
  2. Having a neat home.
  3. Being thin.
  4. Being ‘hot’.
  5. Wearing the latest fashions.
  6. Obeying stupid rules.
  7. Driving an expensive car.
  8. Owning the latest smart phone.
  9. Living in a big house.
  10. Status.
  11. What-other-people-think-about-me.
  12. What-other-people-say-about-me.
  13. Having lots of stuff.
  14. Being “successful” in the eyes of others.
  15. Having the kind of job that other people think is important.
  16. Predictability and sameness.
  17. The illusion of ‘security’.
  18. Doing stuff because that’s the way it’s “supposed to” be done.

Stuff that’s important – but with an added disclaimer:

  1. Money.  Yes, we all need it.  Yes, we all want it.  No, I don’t think it’s worth sacrificing your life and happiness for… and I don’t think it’s worth years and years of miserable living.  I’d rather have less money and more quality of life – than more money and less quality.
  2. The Extended Family.  I totally love my parents and my sisters.  Nick loves his family too.  And – of course, there’s lots of aunts, uncles and cousins who are also a big part of our lives.  We love and respect our extended family – but there is a very firm line that has been drawn in the sand:  they don’t get to interfere and dictate how we live our lives.

I’m sure there’s a lot more that I could add to all 3 of these categories… but then this blog will become an essay!

Anything that I’ve missed out?  I’d love to hear some comments from the lurkers out there – what’s the stuff that you feel is important – and NOT important – in your life?

3 thoughts on “Stuff that is (and isn’t) important…

  1. This is exactly what I needed to read this morning. Yesterday at a braai I offended a woman – I had had a few Bells and soda and I have a sharp tongue and a wicked sense of humour that is let loose after a few toots. I was mortified when the woman said that I’d offended her, I was joking about the fact that she was far too pretty and slim to be allowed to swim with the rest of us. It’s been bothering me non stop since then but you have made me realise that it’s a waste of time worrying about all the people you’ve offended in your life. I’m not going to become a wishy washy, watered down version of myself – how boring!

    • I agree. It’s a guaranteed fact that we WILL offend people – whether we intend to or not. Even if we lived our entire lives trying to please everyone else, we’d STILL end up offending someone. There would STILL be someone who wouldn’t approve of SOMETHING. It’s simply impossible to please everyone.

      I very much doubt you were deliberately trying to offend the woman in question. I doubt your comments were INTENDED to hurt her… and I think there’s a lesson in here for all of us. Sometimes, if somebody says something that I consider to be insensitive or rude – it really helps to stop and re-think. Firstly – nobody can *MAKE* me feel anything that I don’t want to feel (ie: hurt or offence). I own MY feelings. Secondly, I ask myself: “What was their intent?” – because, most of the time, people say off-the-cuff stuff… and it’s NOT intended to deliberately cause harm or hurt. And if it’s not intended to hurt – then why be hurt?? Very different – me thinks – to trolls who delight in using words that they hope will hurt and harm people (on purpose).

      Besides – it’s just too bloody draining to constantly be worrying about every word that comes out of our mouths (just IN CASE we cause offence or piss somebody off). I have lived much of my life in that way – and I’ve come to see it as a traitorous act towards my true, authentic self.

      Thanks for responding. 🙂

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