So – last night… whilst fretting over a potentially difficult situation that hasn’t even happened… I wrote a long, rambling, disclaimer-filled blog post. (Those of you who have subscribed via e-mail will probably still have it squatting miserably in your in-box).
Feel free to delete it (as I have).
This morning… I decided it was time to have a very honest heart-to-heart with myself. And so I wrote this letter:
Blog followers… friends… please feel free to REMIND me to re-read this letter… any time I start morphing again into people-pleasing, disclaimeritis mode!
Hugs & thank-you’s….. Hat x
Living Differently 
Excellent letter! And one that I think ever person should read and understand – as really, it goes for us all to some extend
I think we all should write something like that too…
I’ve learnt this. It used to be important to me to be liked by everyone too. I did everything in my power not to offend. Now it doesn’t matter anymore. (Perhaps with age one grows less sensitive) Plenty of people like me….and some don’t. Some will always take offence at what I do or say….and some wont. That’s life…that’s how it is. You Hat are really are awesome and amazing….stop imagining the worst before it even happens. There isn’t a nasty hair on your head….you’re naturally kind, even to the meanest person…so if they take offence (which is unlikely) so what!!! read your letter often till it STICKS!!
Weezil
Thank you for this – I am struggling with toxic criticism and unasked for ‘advice’ … I think after reading this I can take it from whence it comes and let it go xxx
Oh jeez… the dodgy… worst kind: the unasked for “advice” – oh, I’m sure that rings an all-too-familiar bell with MANY folk! And — as that ear-worm song from Disney says: “let it go… let it GO…!” It’s so much *lighter* after we just – LET it GO!… (from the lips of somebody who is kinda learning all this stuff the HARD way!)… x
Tribe . Your tribe loves you, loves this , needs your authenticity. Thanks you.
… and… I thank you… THANK-YOU… for writing that. I need to REMIND myself of what matters. THANKS – so much – for the affirmation. XX
Your welcome, xoxo💖
Love it !! You are so creative and I love how you talked to yourself about the issue and are working to let it go. Great thing to share as many people struggle with the same darn thing !! I think a lot of us do to varying degrees !! Thanks for being so open and sharing, it is how we all grow !!!
Thanks, Stephie…. as always… your warm, understanding words brighten my day! X
I have a partner who doesn’t give a rat’s ass what other people think of him. His “SO FUCK” attitude spurs me on to curb the people pleasing I get involved in.
The blog you deleted has served it’s purpose…it was a stepping stone into the awesome letter you wrote yourself. Glad you deleted it, glad you caught yourself and glad you looked after yourself 🙂
Oh – people like your partner make me jealous! If they could bottle their water-off-a-duck’s-back attitude – I would buy it!! And you’re right – the blog was a stepping stone. There’s a great quote by somebody called Cari Corbett-Owen: “A changing habit is seldom a one-step-wonder, but rather a series of repeated stumblings in which we learn to catch ourselves progressively earlier each time”… and that’s exactly how it is for me. I still stumble (repeatedly)… but – I think – I’m catching myself earlier these days… and hopefully, the day will come when I’ll learn to avoid this particular pothole completely – and for good! X
I could totally relate to the first blog, but so love this one! It is inspiring and something we all need to remember. thanks!
Thanks! Yes – something *I* need to remember too… something I need to remind myself. It’s sooooooo easy for me to slip into people-pleasing, apologising, disclaimer-adding mode! I think it’s something that a lot of us struggle with…